Out of the Matrix
I was at the beach a few days ago. It was the middle of the week, and I had taken a day off work. I felt a bit guilty doing that, so I made sure to take a pen and paper so I could at least write a new post for my blog and not waste my time completely.
On one hand, I was mad at myself for being anxious, stressed and unable to relax. On the other hand, I was angry at myself for taking the day off instead of working and making the money I need for my long time travel dream – a dream I have promised myself will be fulfilled by the time I turn 29. My 29 birthday is only a few month away, and there is still so much to do and money to be made before I can allow myself to set off to the biggest adventure of my life.
The post I was writing was yet another reflection of the on-going mild panic attack I've been having for a while. I had titled the post ‘My Biggest Fear’ and started writing about how scared I am to quit my dead-end job to go and travel, only to risk emptying my bank account and come back home about a year later to live at my parents' house in my 30’s, until I find another shitty job, crappy apartment, and continue this dead-end living. Is this the only thing life has to offer? What if I don’t want to do this anymore? What if I don’t want to work for other people anymore? What if I don’t want to work at all?
I feel so spoiled and lazy just thinking about it. And obviously I can’t say it out loud, especially to my hard working parents who have been spending every day for the last 30-40 years working hard so we could have a comfortable life. But, is that all there is? Are we born to wake up in the morning, go to work, pay the bills, and die?
The next day I was at work. Working, or pretending to be working, which is what I usually do in in my useless job. Just waiting for the day to be over and to punch the clock. I was aimlessly surfing the internet when I encountered some video article on a news site. The article was about eBay and Amazon, or to be more exact, people making money by selling stuff on eBay and Amazon.
They interviewed people, regular people like you and me, who were making a decent leaving by selling all kinds of things on those platforms. Some had even turned it into successful online businesses. Working for a few hours a day from their laptops and making a living. Passive income, almost with no effort at all.
I’ve been absolutely wrestling with the term passive income for the last year. That is why I opened my blog, in the hope that one day it will become a profitable business from my laptop, while I travel the world.
When I read about the concept of starting a blog, before it all began for me, people declared that they were making a decent income from their blogs and only work a few hours a week. In the real world, I have had this blog for about eight months now, I’m working my ass off, and not making a cent. So what are the chances that this eBay business is really what people say it is? Is it a real opportunity for financial freedom or just another illusion?
With all my reservations about this subject, I kept reading about it and searching for more. I didn't know if I believed it or not. It sounded too good to be true. But I did know one thing: this time I’m not starting anything before I meet a living human being who’s making money out of it.
That evening I went home and promised myself to look into online businesses - running online stores on eBay or Amazon - more after I got some rest. I set on the couch, bored and exhausted from another day of nothing, and opened my Tinder app.
As I’ve explained before, at the moment I’m not looking to date anyone. The only reason I have this app is because it’s another way to handle the complete boredom I experience at work. Swiping the pictures of random guys, and occasionally talking to one, just for the heck of it, can really make the day fly by.
I looked at one of my ongoing latest Tinder conversations and saw that this guy asked me what I’m doing for a living. As I wrote him my response, I couldn't remember if I had asked him that as well or not, so I scrolled back our conversation. As it turned out, I had asked him, and his answer was: “I do online marketing on eBay and Amazon.”
I rubbed my eyes to see if it wasn’t just my mind tricking me. What are the chances of that happening? What are the chances of me spending the whole day searching for someone I know who does that for a living only to find out that I met that someone yesterday?
And what did I answer him about it yesterday?
Only cool?! Only cool?!?! That’s the only thing my brilliant mind could come up with yesterday? It’s amazing how one day something could be meaningless to you and the next day it could mean the world.
Do you sometimes get the feeling when something happens that it’s just too much of a coincidence, and maybe it’s not a coincidence at all? That it was meant to happen?
I don’t want to get all spiritual or philosophical, so let’s just say that no matter why it happened I’m not the kind of person who would spot an opportunity and let it go. It was crystal clear to me - I have to meet this guy.
To be continued...